The Four Spiritual Habits for Kids

The Four Spiritual Habits for Kids
The Four Spiritual Habits for Kids

 

If you’re an adult (or even a “professional” Christian), then the idea of spiritual habits is probably pretty familiar to you. Spiritual disciplines, quiet time, devotions… whatever you call it, you’ve probably established a few rhythms in your life to help you grow spiritually.

Or, at least, you’re working on it.

Maybe you…

  • Start your day with a quiet time.
  • Follow a Bible reading plan.
  • Listen to worship music while you drive.
  • Subscribe to sermon podcasts.
  • Go to church, attend a small group, or serve somewhere.

If you’ve been following Jesus for a while, you’ve probably figured out a few ways to grow spiritually. Since you’re a grown-up, you’ve had a little time to figure out this whole “spiritual growth” thing.

The kids in your ministry, on the other hand, aren’t grown-ups, so they might need a little help from you to figure out how, exactly, to grow spiritually.

So, what should spiritual growth look like for kids?
And how can you help them develop spiritual habits?

When I (Elle) oversaw small groups in the middle school ministry at my church, this question came up pretty often—like the time I was meeting with one of my brand new small group leaders, Peter. Peter was a college-aged guy, brand new to leading small groups, and was really, really, excited to start serving. During our first orientation meeting, while I was showing him the ropes of being a small group leader, he stopped me and asked this question:

“Okay, but… how do I help my small group grow spiritually? What’s my goal?”

It was a pretty good question. And since Jesus always answered questions by asking another question (but mostly because I needed a second to figure out what to say next) I asked Peter, “Well, what do you think your goal should be?”

“I don’t know,” he said. “Maybe my goal could be to get every guy in my small group to read the Bible seven times a week?”

Considering Peter was leading a small group of sixth graders, that was a pretty big goal. And when I say “big,” I actually mean “definitely not going to happen.” So, although I kind of loved that he was dreaming big, I said, “No, getting twenty eleven-year-olds to read the Bible seven days a week was maybe not the right goal.”

But it was a great question.

How do we help kids grow spiritually? What should our goals be?

Before we can answer that question, we should probably start by agreeing on how anyone grows spiritually.

This is where spiritual habits come in. Spiritual habits are the decisions, behaviors, and rhythms that help us grow spiritually over time. If you’re like most people, the first things that pop into your head when you hear “spiritual habits” are probably…

  • Reading the Bible.
  • Praying.
  • Going to church.

Sure, reading, praying, and going to church are important spiritual habits. But they’re not the only spiritual habits that matter.

So what is the complete, final, definitive list of spiritual habits? Well, there isn’t one. Not officially. You can organize, categorize, and define spiritual habits in a number of ways, but feel free to steal our list if you think it’s helpful. It’s a list of the four spiritual habits we use inside Grow Curriculum to help kids, teenagers, and their leaders grow spiritually. Here they are …

1. SPEND TIME WITH GOD

This is an obvious one, right? It’s so obvious, in fact, that sometimes it’s the only spiritual habit we can name. After all, isn’t “growing spiritually” synonymous with “spending time with God”? Well, not exactly. Spending time with God is a big part of growing spiritually, but it’s not the whole picture. That’s why it’s just the first of four spiritual habits.

Spending time with God may not be the only spiritual habit, but it’s still a pretty important one. After all, if kids are ever going to make their faith their own, they’ve got to start spending time with God on their own. It means opening the Bible on their own, having conversations with God on their own, and discovering how they best connect with God through worship on their own.

HOW CAN WE HELP KIDS SPEND TIME WITH GOD?

I’m so glad you asked. Here are a few ideas …

  • Give them a Bible. Preferably one with words they can understand… and written in ways they would actually say. Personally, I love the NLT, the NIV, The Message, and The Voice translations. They’re all written in language that’s easy to read, easy to understand, and easy to remember.
  • Help them memorize Scripture. Your kids might be good at memorizing movie quotes, song lyrics, and whatever viral quote is happening now, but memorizing Scripture probably doesn’t come quite as naturally. That’s why it’s so helpful for us to give kids simple, practical tools for memorizing Scripture. That might look like creating songs, mixing up the words, or making it a competition.
  • Teach them to pray. If you’ve been talking to God for a while, it’s easy to forget how strange prayer can seem to someone who hasn’t been talking to God for an entire lifetime. No matter their age, kids need us to model conversations with God and teach them how to have conversations of their own. So, regularly pray out loud with your group, teach them about prayer, and give them opportunities to talk to God alongside you. You might even give them simple strategies to pray, like my four favorite prayer prompts: Please, Thanks, Sorry, Wow.
  • Help them discover their spiritual wiring. Gary Thomas’ book Sacred Pathways is one of the best resources I’ve found for helping people identify the unique ways they are wired to connect with God. Some of your kids will connect with God by going outside. Others will love to worship through music, or dance, or the arts. Some will love to learn, some will love to serve, and some will love to sit quietly with God in solitude. If we want to help our groups grow spiritually, it’s so important that we teach them to connect with God in the many ways they are uniquely wired to connect with God—not just in the ways we prefer to connect.

So, spending time with God is the first of four spiritual habits. This habit is all about developing a personal friendship with God. Because, just like any friendship, we can only grow closer if we’re spending time together. But if we want to grow spiritually, spending time with God isn’t the only spiritual habit we need to develop.

2. SPEND TIME WITH OTHERS

Yep, engaging in healthy community can—and should—be a spiritual habit we help our kids develop. But “healthy community” doesn’t just mean hanging out with Christians. This spiritual habit is about growing in Christlike relationships with… well, everyone. Christians and non-Christians, too. Because sometimes, it won’t be another church potluck or Bible study with our fellow Christians that will grow us the most. It might be a friendship, an investment, or a challenging conversation with a non-Christian that makes the biggest difference in our faith.

We see this most clearly in Jesus, of course. When he discipled his followers, he didn’t disciple them in one-on-one conversations in the privacy of their homes or the nearest Starbucks. He discipled them in real life, in the context of relationships that were real, and messy, and challenging, and imperfect.

In Jesus’ ministry, it was often his disciples’ interactions with each other, or with people who didn’t follow him, that prompted some of his most significant teaching opportunities.

SO HOW CAN WE HELP KIDS SPEND TIME WITH OTHERS?

Here are a few ideas…

  • Create consistent small groups. If you know anything about me, you know that I’m pretty convinced small groups are the answer to just about everything. But when it comes to helping kids develop community … well, small groups are a pretty obvious first step. In small groups, kids are given opportunities to grow closer to their peers, to an adult who cares about them, and grow in community with people who believe like they do and with people who don’t.
  • Offer opportunities for connection. I get it—when it comes to your weekly environment, you’ve got a lot to do and probably not enough time to do it. When you’ve got to pull off worship and small groups and announcements and your sermon, letting kids “hang out” might seem like a waste of time. But it’s not. It’s really not. If spending time with others is a spiritual habit, then creating opportunities for kids to connect with each other—and with the adults who lead them—should be a priority. So, whether it’s before your service, after your service, during the week, or at your events, prioritize relationships. Create space, through unstructured time, for kids to hang out, play, talk, and connect.
  • Make your environments visitor-friendly. Sure, we all say we want visitors to show up to our programs. We all tell our groups to bring their friends to church, but if we’re not working behind the scenes to create environments that are welcoming to and mindful of, first-time guests… well, we can’t really expect those guests to show up (or come back). If you’re not sure if your environments are visitor-friendly, ask your group this question: “Is there anything about our church that makes you not want to invite your friends?”
  • Encourage kids to engage in their communities. Sometimes, we make the mistake of believing our community is the only community that can help kids grow spiritually. But that’s not true, is it? We might be ministry leaders, but we don’t own the market when it comes to healthy communities. In fact, if the only community our groups see as “healthy” community are the ones our churches offer, then we’ve actually done them a pretty big disservice. If we really want our groups to grow spiritually, we should probably think of creative ways to help them build relationships (with both Christians and non-Christians) in places outside our church—like their schools, their neighborhoods, and their sports teams.

So, we’ve got to help our kids practice the habit of spending time with others, both inside the walls of our churches and outside those walls, too. Because when we engage in community, listen to different perspectives, and process our faith with others, we get a bigger picture of who God is… and that helps us grow.

3. SHARE YOUR STORY

Our kids need to learn how to talk about God. But this spiritual habit is way bigger than just knowing how to share the story of your salvation—although that’s part of it. Sharing your story is the spiritual habit of making faith a regular, everyday, go-to topic of conversation in our lives.

It’s about discovering God in every aspect of your story…

Your past, your present, and your future –
The good times, the bad times, and the in-between times –
And then sharing what you’ve found with other people.

Because when we talk about God and God’s place in our story (or, more accurately, our place in God’s story), it helps us believe, understand, and take ownership of our own faith. That’s why sharing our stories is such an important part of growing spiritually.

SO HOW CAN WE HELP KIDS SHARE THEIR STORIES?

Here are a few ideas…

  • Create consistent small groups. I know, I know, I already said this. But I also said that small groups are the answer to pretty much everything. So, yes, they’re an answer to helping kids develop healthy community, but they’re also an answer for helping kids have healthy conversations about their faith. When small groups are done well, they become safe places for kids to process their beliefs, their questions, and their experiences.
  • Share your stories. When you teach, be intentional about sharing stories from your own life and faith journey. In fact, you probably want to tell one personal story in every message you ever teach. When you share your stories and how God used those stories to help you grow spiritually, you give your group a model for what it looks like to find God in their stories. And when you share your stories of failure, disappointment, or mistakes, you let them know that God can work even in the toughest situations—and that they’re not alone.
  • Invite kids and volunteers to share their stories. Your stories, dear ministry leader, are really important, but they’re not the only stories that matter. When you invite kids, and volunteers to share their stories regularly (maybe on stage, in a video, or on social media), you help your group connect with even more people and even more stories.
  • Create space for hard questions. If you want kids to get comfortable having conversations about their faith, it is absolutely essential that you help them have healthy conversations about their doubts, fears, and questions. The truth is, your kids have (or will have) doubts. So, if you want them to have a healthy faith, help them learn to talk about those things openly.

Help your kids share their stories because they’ll grow spiritually when they make it a habit of talking about their faith.

4. USE YOUR GIFTS

Here’s the fourth and final spiritual habit: your group needs to know that God made them unique and special with really specific gifts, talents, passions, and resources. Then, they need to use those gifts to love God, love others, and influence the world around them.

When we use our gifts, we acknowledge that the things we’ve been given weren’t given to us by chance. They were part of God’s design. Using those gifts really can be a spiritual habit because when kids begin to discover who God made them to be, they grow. And when they use their unique identity to make a difference in the world, they serve others and give back to God who made them.

SO HOW CAN WE HELP KIDS USE THEIR GIFTS?

Here are a few ideas…

  • Create opportunities to serve. It’s one thing to tell kids to serve others and to use their gifts. But it’s another thing entirely to actually create opportunities where they do that. Maybe you need to restructure some things in your church so that it’s easier for your groups to serve. Maybe you need to move away from an adult-led worship band so more kids and students can help lead. Maybe you even need to let go of some of your desire for “excellence” in your programming so your group can take ownership and help create your weekly environments. This might look like having them lead a craft, a game, or your memory verse hand motions.
  • Showcase their unique talents. In ministry, we often accidentally communicate that the only way to serve God in ministry is from a platform. Speaking and leading worship are great ways to help kids serve, but they’re not the only gifts they can use to serve God and others. Whether it’s art, or science, or baking, or sports, your groups are overflowing with talents. They may just need your help to discover how those talents can be used to love others in new and creative ways.

So those are the four spiritual habits that help kids grow spiritually.

  • Help them spend time with God.
  • Help them spend time with others.
  • Help them share their stories.
  • And help them use their gifts.

But before we wrap up, a few things to remember…

  • Your kids won’t all grow in the same way. God made them unique, after all.
  • They won’t grow at the same pace. They’re all on a unique journey.
  • But they can all grow just a little bit more. You can’t force spiritual growth, but you can help them take one more step toward a faith that’s growing.

And hey, thank you for the investment you’re making in the spiritual growth of the kids in your ministry. I know it’s not always easy. Actually, it’s really hard sometimes. But as you get ready for another day, or another week, or another year of youth ministry, we really hope you remember this: what you are doing is making a difference.

I know that’s hard to remember when the seeds you’ve been planting seem to be taking so long to grow, and you know there’s a pretty good chance you may never even see the end result. But keep going.

-Elle Campbell

The Four Spiritual Habits for Kids
The Four Spiritual Habits for Kids

An Olympic-themed Event for Your Kids Ministry

A Free Resource from Grow Kids
Go For the Gold! A Free Olympic-Themed Event
Bring home the gold with this free resource. Inside you'll find all the activities, graphics, and guides you need to host your own Olympic-themed event.

The Olympics have started, and we want to give you some free gold from Grow! ?

Okay, it’s not gold, but great events are basically gold in ministry. So, to help you celebrate the Olympics with your group, we’re giving away one of our favorite kids events, Go For the Gold, for free! Just download the PDF to get your copy.

(If you’re looking for our student event, World Record, head here!)

Inside this event, you’ll find everything you need to bring healthy competition, creative problem-solving, and hours of laughter to your kids. We’ve designed a series of silly sports stations to help your kids work together and win points for their team.

Want a rundown of each event? You’ll get activity guides, shopping lists, and more for these events…

  • JAVELIN DARTS: Kids will try to throw their pool noodle javelins through a giant Hula Hoop dart board.
  • WATER BALLOON ARCHERY: Water balloons will be the arrows and a balloon launcher the bow in this archery competition.
  • GYMNASTIC FREEZE DANCE: This game will get kids moving and working on their best stretches and gymnastic poses.
  • BEAN BAG SHOT PUT: Kids will throw bean bags into a marked area to win points for their teams.
  • JUMP ROPE RELAY: Teams will work together to complete a series of three jump rope-based challenges at this station.
  • BASKETBALL SHOT CONNECT THREE: Teams will compete head-to-head to see who can be the first to line up three beach balls horizontally or vertically.
  • TUG-O-CANOE: Teams will work together to see who can pull the inflatable boat full of volunteers the furthest.
  • DIY SAILBOAT RACE: Kids will build their own sailboats and then compete to see whose boat can sail the fastest.
  • ALL-PLAY VOLLEYBALL: With a court divided into as many spaces as you have teams, kids will play a game of seated volleyball to win points for their teams.
  • ALL-PLAY TRIATHLON: Kids will work in groups of four to try and complete this relay race to win points for their teams.
A Free Resource from Grow Kids
Go For the Gold! A Free Olympic-Themed Event
Bring home the gold with this free resource. Inside you'll find all the activities, graphics, and guides you need to host your own Olympic-themed event.

But the Olympics are about more than just the games. It’s the environment and energy that helps it all come to life! Inside this free youth ministry event, you’ll also find tips for decorating your space, Olympic-themed giveaways, and themed ideas for snacks and food.

So, if you’re ready to show off your Olympic spirit, here’s what to do next.

1. DOWNLOAD YOUR FREE EVENT. Grab your copy of Go For the Gold and take a look at all of the activity guides, graphics, and other resources we’ve included.

2. CHOOSE YOUR EVENTS. Browse through each event and make a list of all the supplies you’ll need. (Pro Tip: You can host Go For the Gold as a single event or pull apart the activities to make it an ongoing competition!)

3. COLLECT YOUR DECORATIONS. Plan out your environment and buy all the decorations you need for your Olympics party.

4. SET YOUR DATE. This might be the most important step! Choose your date and let your group know what’s happening!

5. SET A WORLD RECORD. Play some games and make new memories with your kids!

We can’t wait to see how you use Go For the Gold in your youth ministry, so be sure to tag @stuffyoucanuse on social media!

A Free Resource from Grow Kids
Go For the Gold! A Free Olympic-Themed Event
Bring home the gold with this free resource. Inside you'll find all the activities, graphics, and guides you need to host your own Olympic-themed event.

5 Board Games for Children’s Ministry

5 Board Games for Children's Ministry
Free PDF Resources
5 Board Games for Children's Ministry

If you’re looking for a way to help your kids and volunteers grow together, a great board game might be what you need. Keeping a few board games around your meeting space is always a good idea. While a board game might not be our first thought when it comes to fostering relationships, they’re an important piece of the puzzle. (Get it? Puzzle? ?)

A board game in children’s ministry can do more for a kid’s relationships than you might be able to pack into your object lesson or small group time. They might seem simple, but they’re great for …

  • Helping kids collaborate and make decisions with their friends.
  • Letting volunteers build new relationships with the teenagers they serve.
  • Giving kids a quiet way to take a break from the rest of their environment.

Plus, with board games in children’s ministry, kids can play and work towards a common goal. We tend to overlook it, but play is a really important part of how kids develop. Play helps them …

  • Use their creativity
  • Practice their autonomy
  • Operate within set boundaries
  • Work on their communication skills

Each of these can help them grow as individuals and in their faith.

So, if you’re looking for a few more board games for your children’s ministry closet or if you’re ready to start building your own collection of games, we’ve put together a few of our favorite board games for children’s ministry.

5 Board Games for Children's Ministry
Free PDF Resources
5 Board Games for Children's Ministry

THE FLOOR IS LAVA

The Floor is Lava is one of the best games you can play in your ministry right now. In this larger, expanded version of the board game, there are ten different styles of play for you and your children’s ministry. In this game, players must reach the end of the course without losing their balance and falling off their stepping stones. Plus, setup is easy! Just throw down your stepping stones, grab your challenge cards, and set up your spinner to start playing. Learn more about The Floor is Lava here.

THROW THROW BURRITO

Throw Throw Burrito is a combination of Go Fish and dodgeball. In this game, players draw up to five cards in their hand. Then, at the same time, they pass cards to their left while trying to make three-of-a-kind matches. Each match is worth points at the end of the game. But players can also match battle cards, which trigger burrito battles. So, pass your cards quickly and watch out for flying burritos! Check out Throw Throw Burrito here.

DIXIT

Dixit is a great game for older kids. In this guessing game, one player, the storyteller, chooses a card from their hand and gives a clue about it. Then, the other players choose a card of their own that they think matches this clue. All of the cards are shuffled together and then flipped over, revealing the cards. Then, everyone but the storyteller gets to guess which card they think belongs to the storyteller. Dixit’s unique scoring gives storytellers points if their clue is not too simple or too difficult. If they can get one or more players to guess their card, they’ll earn points. But if all or none of the players guess their card, they won’t earn any points. The game is played until one player earns 30 points! Find out more about Dixit here.

MONKEY AROUND

If you’re looking for a board game for the preschool kids in your children’s ministry, check out Monkey Around! In this game, players take turns drawing a card from a pile. Each card has an action where the player must interact with the included stuffed banana, like balancing it or tossing it to another player. Once the player performs their action, they can place the card on the tree. Once the tree is full of cards, you can take off the cards and play again! Check out Monkey Around here.

UNO

For a lot of us, Uno is the first card game we remember playing. It’s a race to get rid of your cards by playing them on top of a matching color or number. Each deck comes with action cards like reveres, wilds, and skips that can make it more challenging for a player to empty their hand. Just be sure to shout “Uno!” once you’re down to your last card. Not only is the original Uno a great game, but there are tons of variations like Uno All Wild!, Uno Flex, and Dos. There’s a fun Uno variation for every children’s ministry and family! Grab your Uno set here.

These are just a few board games for your children’s ministry that can help you, your volunteers, or your families connect and play with kids.

And if you’re looking for even more games, check out Grow Games! We’ve put together a list of over 500 different types of games for your children’s ministry.

Each game comes complete with instructions, editable graphics, and a supply list, so you can start playing right away!

So, instead of searching online the next time you need a great game, download the Grow Games App instead.

5 Board Games for Children's Ministry
Free PDF Resources
5 Board Games for Children's Ministry

5 Apps for Children’s Ministry

5 Apps for Children's Ministry
Free PDF Resource
5 Apps for Children's Ministry

Hey, we get it. This title probably came as a bit of a surprise to you. Apps and children’s ministry? That doesn’t make sense. And … you’d be right. We’re not here to advocate for kids having access to phones at a certain age. That’s a choice for every family to make on their own.

However, one day, kids will have access to phones and tablets. Whether it’s for school, as a way to help them wind down, or if it’s a reward for having a really awesome day. So, when that day comes, how will you help parents approach it?

Most kids are scrolling through apps and social media in between homework, playing sports, and spending time with their families. That means there’s space for you to help families set up new routines and new ways to help their kids think about technology and their devices differently.

What if you helped parents learn to use their phones and devices as tools to help their kids grow in their faith?

Because, when we get down to it, kids will learn to use devices in a way that mirrors their parents. By helping parents be more intentional with how they think about their apps and devices, you not only give them a path to grow their kid’s faith but their own faith, too. Plus, it’s as easy as helping families find an app that connects with them, their personalities, and how they learn.

To help you get started, we’ve put together a list of our favorite Bible apps and children’s ministry apps that can help families grow their faith together.

Dwell: Audio Bible

Dwell is a great app for children’s ministries looking to help kids listen to the Bible. Dwell lets you choose from 20 different voice options and 12 different translations of the Bible, so kids and families can customize what they hear. Plus, Dwell includes over 75 listening plans to help families build a habit of spending time with God. You can learn more about Dwell here.

Verses

If you know a family looking for help with memorizing the Bible, take a look at Verses. This Bible app is designed to help with memorizing passages of Scripture through quick and easy games. Each game helps kids and families remember passages through listening, reordering, typing, and eventually speaking the passage out loud. With seven different translations, parents can choose their favorite and start memorizing Scripture on their own or with friends and other families. Learn more here.

YouVersion Bible App

Chances are, the parents in your ministry already have YouVersion on their phones. This is one of the most commonly downloaded Bible apps, but it’s so much more than a place to read Scripture. Parents can find the verse of the day, follow reading plans with other families, and even export their favorite verses as images to share with others. There’s so much for parents to do on this app, and you can check it out here.

BibleProject

Sometimes, kids ask questions that parents just don’t know how to answer. So, what if you set them up with an app that could help them explore the Bible with helpful resources and information? That’s where the BibleProject app comes in. This app helps kids and parents develop new skills and tools to understand the Bible through podcasts, videos, reading plans, and more. The BibleProject app is a great resource to have on hand for you, your families, and your team of volunteers. Learn more about the BibleProject app here!

Habits by Grow

Asking a kid to start a new habit is an uphill battle—especially without the right support, encouragement, and system for tracking. That’s why we created Habits by Grow. With this children’s ministry app, kids and their friends can help each other grow closer to God by tracking activities that help them work through four spiritual habits—spending time with God, spending time with others, using their gifts, and sharing their stories. It’s all part of our discipleship strategy (which is yours to steal!) Kids can choose from pre-selected habits or create their own that match how they’re trying to grow. Check out Habits by Grow here.

(iOSAndroid)

This is just a small list of our favorite apps for children’s ministry. Chances are you have your own list of favorite apps that help with discipleship. Apps like these can do so much to help kids and their families grow in their faith by helping them make spending time with God a regular part of their week. It’s all about engaging with teenagers in ways that are helpful and make sense to them.

5 Apps for Children's Ministry
Free PDF Resource
5 Apps for Children's Ministry

That’s one of the things we focus on in Grow Kids Curriculum. We wanted to provide kids pastors with helpful, engaging tools that can help their kids and families grow closer to God. In every volume of Grow Students, we include …

  • Editable graphics
  • Printable posters
  • Annual Strategy Guides
  • Room design ideas and instructions
  • Worship & background music playlists
  • 50 weeks of preschool and elementary lessons
  • Access to all of our apps, including Habits, Slides, Hubs, and the Grow Games Apps
  • And so much more!

So, if you’re looking for new ways to engage with your kids and help them grow in their faith away from their phones and devices, we’d love to help you! Just check out our free trial!

13 Ways to Teach Kids More Effectively

13 Ways to Teach Kids More Effectively
Free PDF Resource
13 Ways to Teach Kids More Effectively

 

If you’ve spent any time in children’s ministry, you’ve probably asked yourself this question — Are they learning anything? It’s a question that drives kids pastors everywhere to keep adjusting and refining their programs.

It’s pretty easy to tell when kids are having fun. We can see it in the ways they laugh, play a game, or participate in the activities we design for them. It’s not always easy to tell if they’re learning and growing though, and we all want to help kids grow.

To teach kids effectively, we can’t just open the Bible and teach. We need strategic and age-appropriate teaching methods if we want them to remember, personalize, and apply what we teach.

In Grow Kids Curriculum, our teaching time is designed to answer three questions. We didn’t invent these questions. Rather, they’re the questions teachers and communicators from every discipline agree are answered by every compelling sermon, talk, lecture, or lesson.

  • WHAT? What are we talking about?
  • SO WHAT? Why does it matter to God and to us?
  • NOW WHAT? What should we do about what we just learned?

When we teach, every element should help kids process through and answer these questions. The problem is we often hear “teaching” and start thinking of sermons and talking at kids, but remember that thing about age-appropriate teaching methods? For most kids, listening to a sermon isn’t the best way for them to learn. Sure, sermons are great, and they’re an important part of how we tell kids about who God is, but if we want to be effective communicators, we’ll want to incorporate other strategies too. So, here are 13 ways (with examples from Grow Kids!) you can make your teaching effective—by using something other than just a sermon.

SCRIPTURE

Reading passages from the Bible is a big part of how we teach about who God is. Scripture can be an effective teaching tool when we …

  • Read passages of Scripture together.
  • Invite a volunteer to read to the group.
  • Invite an older kid to read to the group.

QUESTIONS AND POLLS

These two methods give kids the chance to share their opinions and thoughts, which keeps them engaged and helps us better understand their perspectives. You can ask things like …

  • “What makes you feel secure?” before you talk about the way God makes us feel secure.
  • Use a “Would You Rather” poll to ease into your teaching time.

PERSONAL STORIES

Our own stories and experiences can give kids real-life examples of faith, doubt, and difficulties to learn from and remind them they’re not alone. You can use stories to …

  • Talk about when you searched for peace as you talk about the ways we can find peace in God.
  • Explain how a friendship helped you grow your faith during a series on creating lasting friendships.

IMAGES, VIDEOS, AND MUSIC

We all know how hard it can be to keep the attention of kids. Images, videos, and music work to engage their eyes and ears, and help us recapture their attention when it wanders. You can use these three modules to …

  • Help kids connect with God through worship.
  • Teach about the importance of teamwork with a video clip of a team of superheroes working together.

OBJECT LESSONS

Kids aren’t quite able to grasp abstract thoughts and concepts. Object lessons give concrete experiences to help them understand or remember these ideas. You could use object lessons to …

  • Poke a sharp pencil all the way through both sides of a baggie filled with water to demonstrate trust and the way God can do the unexpected.
  • Talk about the safety God brings us by looking at a safety manual or booklet.

ACTIVITIES

Activities help engage kids by getting them moving and interacting in ways that will help them better remember what they learned. Activities are effective because, at the end of the day, kids don’t just hear a lesson—they experience it. You can use activities to …

  • Play a game from the Grow Games App.
  • Talk about trusting God’s plan by having kids follow a step-by-step LEGO building guide.

MOMENTS OF REFLECTION

It’s important to give kids a chance to sit quietly, write, think, or pray, so they can better process what is being taught. Reflection moments can look like …

  • Letting kids make a Christmas card featuring a one-word summary of the lesson.
  • Having kids help create a word cloud that reminds them God guides them to safety no matter where they go.

OPPORTUNITIES FOR RESPONSE

A response helps give kids a chance to do something about what they’ve learned, like making a commitment or choosing the next step. Responses can look like …

  • Drawing a picture that shows God overcoming kids “giant” fears and uncertainties.
  • Making a paper chain of people kids can love and show kindness to.

PRAYER

Prayer helps kids connect and talk with God on their own or as a group. You can use prayer to …

  • Show kids how to pray and talk with God.
  • Create short, memorable prayers for kids to build into their spiritual habits.

DISCUSSION

Discussions create space for kids to process out loud and learn with their peers. To be most effective, discussion questions shouldn’t only summarize a lesson but should also ask questions that get kids thinking and personalizing what they’ve learned like …

  • When are some times you might need to overcome fear?
  • Why do you think God sometimes works behind the scenes and not center stage?

If you’re looking to make your teaching more effective for kids, consider adding some of these modules into your teaching time. With a weekly teaching strategy and a little creativity, you can teach in ways that capture the attention of kids and get them to learn and grow.

And hey, if you’re using Grow Kids Curriculum, we’re using these 13 teaching modules already! For every week of every year, we provide teaching content designed by real in-the-trenches pastors and volunteers in children’s ministry who understand how to teach kids effectively. And we give you everything you need to make it happen!

13 Ways to Teach Kids More Effectively
Free PDF Resource
13 Ways to Teach Kids More Effectively

4 Game Structures Used in Kids Ministry

If you’ve spent any amount of time in kids ministry, you’ve probably played a few incredible games. Games are a central part of kids ministry. They give us a chance to make new connections with kids and help them relate to their peers. Games are more than just a way for us to drain kids of their energy before we head into the quieter, more reflective parts of our weekly environments. They’re a way for kids to build genuine relationships based on a shared experience. So, how can you better help your kids make these relationships? Well, take a look at the structures of your games!

Every great game is built upon a structure. This structure provides the basic limits of how the game will work. Let’s take Angry Birds, for example. At first glance, you might only see a slingshot full of birds you can launch toward some pigs hiding behind wooden towers. But once you strip away that theme, it’s a game about launching objects at a target. Sometimes, when we see or hear about a game, we only focus on the game’s theme, not the structure. But as we pull games apart, we’ll find many use similar structures. So, if you plan to build your own games for kids, you’ll want to grow familiar with some of these structures.

Here are a few of our favorites…

  • RELAY RACES. Relay races are a great way to get multiple groups of people involved. There are a couple of different ways to handle your relays. You can have players from each team race to complete the same action at the same time, like hula hoop five times in a row, before tagging their teammate. Or, you could have players from each team perform different actions, like one player hoops five times, another whistles a Taylor Swift song, and the final player answers some trivia questions. No matter how you plan it, relay races are high-energy games that get the crowd cheering on their friends and favorite teams.
  • TRIVIA. Trivia games are great for those weeks when you want something with less energy. When you do trivia right, you can make connections with kids who might not want to join in with the louder, more active games. But just because trivia takes less energy than a relay race, that doesn’t mean it needs to be less fun. To build your trivia game, just choose a topic, come up with some questions (or Google them), and then throw them up on your screen. Group your kids by age, grade, or however you want, and have some relaxed fun. If you want to raise the energy, ask a question and give kids 45 seconds to write down their answers and run them to the stage. You can do so much with trivia, but just remember to pick a theme!
  • TIME TRIALS. In time trials, every player is racing the clock. The format is really simple—choose your players, give them a short amount of time, and have them compete against each other and the clock to determine a winner. You could see who can shake the most ping pong balls out of an empty box of tissue in one minute or grab a bubble machine to see which kid can pop the most bubbles in 45 seconds. Just make sure all of your actions take place where everyone can see what’s happening and make sure the goal can actually be accomplished. If no one can see what’s happening or your game is too difficult to make any progress, your players and your audience will start to check out.
  • CONTESTS. These games can take a lot of different forms, but it might be best to think of them as ongoing challenges. A contest could look like the Impossible Shot, where you set up a trash can or hoop somewhere far from your stage, and kids try to throw a ball into it. You could create a series of “On the Spot” contests where kids have five minutes to paint the best picture, write the best song, or tell the best jokes. Contests are a good change of pace from your other game structures. They can be fast-paced, or they can take some focus, allowing you to build up the anticipation in your kids.

These are just a few of the game structures that exist, and they don’t always need to stand alone, either. You can create a timed trivia game or a trivia relay race. Each of these structures can be blended into the next to help you create something unique and fun for your kids ministry. Don’t be afraid to shake things up and try a new structure or combination of structures for your games. There are so many great games to create!

If you need help building a game on any of these structures, then check out our guide to creating games from scratch. Just remember you don’t have to do it alone! You can ask your volunteers for input or even empower a few of them to take over creating your games altogether. You never know what great games a volunteer has hiding in the back of their minds!

4 Game Structures Used in Kids Ministry Games
Free PDF Resource
4 Game Structures Used in Kids Ministry

And if you’re looking for great games that you can plug into your kids ministry right now, then check out the Grow Games App. In the Grow Games App for iOS and Android, we have over 500 different games for your kids ministry. Each game comes ready to play with instructions, editable image files, and a supply list so you can get started right away. Plus, you can add your own games to build up a database of all the great games you’ve already been playing in your kids ministry. So, when you’re looking for a new game structure, you can use the Grow Games App.

6 Ways to Make Kids Ministry Games More Fun

6 Ways to Make Kids Ministry Games More Fun
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6 Ways to Make Kids Ministry Games More Fun

One of our favorite ways to describe kids ministry is fun. We love having fun. We love fun activities, fun teaching, and fun people. No matter how old you are, we all gravitate toward fun. Fun isn’t only helpful for making friends and new memories, but fun can also help us create engaging environments for kids to experience Jesus.

The games and activities you play with your kids aren’t just a way for them to use all of their energy before you get to the more serious parts of your service or event. These games allow kids to connect and create memories around a shared experience. Ask a kid about a fun memory from their life, and they’ll probably recite it in detail—who was there, what happened, and why it’s so important to them. Fun helps ideas stick. Fun builds relationships. Fun is an essential part of kids ministry.

However, you can’t just throw a bunch of kids in a room and say, “Have fun! See you soon!” Sure, that might create fun for the kids involved, but it would not be a fun conversation with your lead pastor about the new holes in the wall, broken light fixtures, and the gallons of paint on the ceiling. There are ways you can increase the fun in all of your games and for everyone involved, regardless of their role.

THINK IT THROUGH

You’re not alone if you’ve searched for “fun kids games” the night before your service. There are certainly times when you’ll need to scramble to find a new game for your kids, but if it’s happening every single week, you’re not setting yourself up to have the most fun with your kids.

As you prepare your service, you’ll want games that help to level up your teaching and the other elements of your service. Don’t just pick random games from the internet and try them out. You can do a lot to help your teaching stick by thinking about how a game connects to your main teaching points or a worship song you’ll sing. When everything feels connected, kids have more fun playing games.

Don’t just think through the connection to your environment, though. You can increase fun in your games by thinking about the different varieties of games, too. We can fall into a habit of playing a specific type of game each week, like all-play games, screen games, or outdoor games. When we think through a rotation of every kind of game or cycle out older games for newer ones, we can help kids have new experiences and new ways to have fun.

RESPECT YOUR AUDIENCE

What’s your first instinct when you’ve got a game and notice a few kids who aren’t participating? Most of the time, we’ll lead with encouragement. We want our games to be accessible and fun for everyone in the room, but occasionally, a kid might need a gentle nudge to jump in. But what do we do when they still don’t want to play?

Your response in this situation is an important indicator of how much fun the group will have. No one wants to be forced to play a game. Encourage kids to play. Gently nudge them and keep the invitation open for them to hop in when they’re comfortable and ready. Never force a kid to play a game. Instead, focus on respecting your audience.

This strategy may seem different than what you’re used to. You might expect kids to respect you and the environment you’ve worked so hard to curate for them carefully. But respect goes both ways. If you’re out there forcing kids to play games they don’t love, embarrassing them, or forcing them to pay attention, that’s not respect—it’s control—and being controlled isn’t any fun.

When kids sense that you respect them, they can lower their guard. They’ll be more likely to take healthy risks and might even be willing to embarrass themselves for some fun. Take a small step in respecting your audience by allowing kids to participate in games and other activities as they’d like. Communicate your expectations of alternate activities or responses. Focus your energy on creating a safe and respectful environment so everyone can have fun.

CONTROL THE ENERGY

Great fun can come from great energy. When planning out your games, remember to create an energy that matches what’s needed for your game. The first place to start is with your music.

Your playlist can level up the fun for your kids. When you match music to the feeling you hope to get from your games, incredible things can happen. You’ll want to pair high-energy songs with high-energy and low-energy songs with low-energy games. But focusing on music is only part of controlling energy.

You’ll also want to make sure you have the right hosts for your games. A great host can harness the energy needed for a game and draw it from the kids. They’re great at explaining instructions clearly and getting a whole room to cheer along, no matter the result. They’re also great at keeping things positive. Sometimes, a game doesn’t work out how you’d hope, or a kid might struggle to reach their goal. A great host (and a respectful environment) can turn this situation around so everyone has fun.

INVOLVE SMALL GROUP LEADERS

Your small group leaders are essential to your ministry. They spend a lot of time having conversations with your kids. They bring support and structure to your services. They can also help set the tone for your environment by engaging in your games.

When you think back on your time in kids or youth ministry, was there a leader who went all out for games? Typically, this leader’s energy is infectious. They can rally kids behind a concept or help them find the courage to try something new. Their relationship with kids can make the difference in bringing out a new level of fun.

Set out some expectations with your volunteers about how they can get involved. Like your group, give them alternate options to care for kids who may feel shy or want to try an alternate game or activity. Don’t stop inviting them to participate in your games and build new memories with your kids. Their experiences could open up a new path for conversations and connections that help kids grow closer to Jesus.

REWARD YOUR WINNERS

Prizes are an excellent motivator for games. When kids know ahead of time they’re competing for something, they’re more likely to get invested in having fun. As you plan games, create opportunities for your kids to compete for prizes and rewards. The trick is not to make things too competitive, though.

In the same way a prize can motivate a kid, too much competition can demotivate some. If your prize is so great that kids are willing to do anything to win, that’s not very fun for the people involved. Try to choose rewards that are accessible but still fun, like a gift card, free snacks, or an ice cream party for a small group. Prizes like these can build up the fun in your games without guaranteeing a free-for-all competition.

You could even choose rewards and prizes that are strategic to what’s happening in your ministry. You could give away early entry or free admission to an event you’re throwing or give out a discount on camp. If you connect your rewards to your ministry strategy, you can create incentives for kids and their families to stay connected to what’s happening in your ministry and church!

PLAN YOUR TRANSITION

This last point is probably the most important. If you’re moving from a higher energy portion of your weekly environment to something lower energy, you’ll need to nail this transition. Smooth transitions aren’t just about harnessing your kids’ energy but also about connecting each part of your environment.

As you think through your games, you’ll want to know what’s coming up next throughout your service. How will you move from one point in your service to the next? What can you say to ease the transition? What items can you set up ahead of time to help you move from one activity to the next? There are many questions to consider when transitioning between parts of your service, but each is important.

Creating smooth transitions requires some strategy, which takes us back to our first point of thinking through your service. Each week, you’ll want to know which components make up your service and how they connect to the main point, or Big Idea, of your service. Knowing why you’ve included each element in your environment, you’ll better understand how to connect and transition between the different parts. When everything connects seamlessly (or, let’s be honest, mostly seamlessly), you’ll be able to maintain momentum and fun for your kids and your leaders!

These are just a few ways to make the kids ministry games you play more fun. Best of all, these strategies work with every type of game—indoor, outdoor, screen games, all-play games, and more. And if you’re looking for new kinds of games for your kids ministry, we’ve got you covered. In the Grow Games App for iOS and Android, we have over 500 different games for your kids ministry. Each game comes with instructions, a supply list, and editable graphics so you can be ready to play with your kids. Plus, you can add your own games to build up a database of all the great games you’ve been playing in your kids ministry. So, if you’re ready to make your games more fun, just follow these six strategies and check out the Grow Games App!

6 Ways to Make Kids Ministry Games More Fun
Free PDF Resource
6 Ways to Make Kids Ministry Games More Fun

How to Create Simple Church Games for Kids

How to Create Simple Church Games for Kids
Free PDF Resources
How to Create Simple Church Games for Kids

 

If you’ve spent more than a few weeks in kids ministry, chances are you’ve played a lot of games. Games sit at the center of ministry because it gives kids (and leaders) a chance to make connections. When you’re playing a game with a kid or watching them play with one of their peers, you’re experiencing connection in action. Ultimately, games are more than a way for us to empty our kids of all of their energy. They help us create memories through common experiences.

Sometimes, we can fall into a pattern of playing the same handful of games on a rotation. There are a ton of reasons why that happens, from our levels of comfort to our genuine enjoyment of the game. But what if you wanted to create your own game? What if you wanted to make something special for your ministry’s kids? You might be surprised to find out it’s a lot easier than it seems. So what does it take? First, you’ll want to ensure you have the right host for your games, space, and mood and energy level. But once you’ve secured those things, you can follow this simple formula.

PICK A THEME

The first step to building a great game from scratch is to find a theme. You might want this to connect to what you’re teaching that week, but you might want something more universal that you could play every week. Regardless of how well your game does (or doesn’t) connect to your teaching content, you’ll need a theme to hold everything together. A strong theme is what draws people into the game.

Think about something like Angry Birds. It’s a classic game about launching birds toward some pigs hiding behind blocks of wood, ice, or steel. But most of what we know about Angry Birds is really related to the theme. If you took away the theme, you’d just have someone launching soccer balls at wooden structures. It might be fun, but having a theme on top of the gameplay is what makes the game compelling and fun.

So, start your game construction by choosing a strong theme. Maybe look to random holidays for inspiration and build a game off of that. You could look at the events in your calendar, like the Super Bowl and the Olympics. You might even be inspired to build a game based on a popular TV show, movie, or song. The possibilities for your theme are endless, but what’s most important is to choose a theme.

PICK A STRUCTURE

Once you’ve selected your theme, you’re ready to move on to the next step—pick a structure. Every game is built around a simple structure or framework. We’ll take a look at four different structures for your games, but this isn’t an exhaustive list by any means. There are so many structures for games, but these are just some of our favorites.

  • RELAY RACES: Relay races are a great way to get multiple groups of people involved. There are a couple of different ways to handle your relays. You can have players from each team race to complete the same action at the same time, like hula hoop five times in a row, before tagging their teammate. Or, you could have players from each team perform different actions like one player hula hoops five times, another whistles a Taylor Swift song, and the final player answering some trivia questions. No matter how you plan it, relay races are high-energy games that get the crowd cheering their friends and favorite teams on.
  • TRIVIA: Not every week needs to have a high-energy game! For those weeks, try out some trivia. When you do trivia right, you can make connections with kids who might not want to join in with the louder, more active games. But just because trivia takes less energy than a relay race, that doesn’t mean it needs to be less fun. To build your trivia game, just choose a topic, come up with some questions (or Google them), and then throw them up on your screen. Group your kids by age, grade, or however you want, and have some relaxed fun. If you want to raise the energy, ask a question and give kids 45 seconds to write down their answers and run them to the stage. You can do so much with trivia, but just remember to pick a theme!
  • TIME TRIALS: In time trials, every player is racing the clock. The format is really simple—choose your players, give them a short amount of time, and have them compete against each other and the clock to determine a winner. You could see who can shake the most ping pong balls out of an empty box of tissue in one minute or grab a bubble machine to see which kid can pop the most bubbles in 45 seconds. Just make sure all of your actions take place where everyone can see what’s happening and make sure the goal can actually be accomplished. If no one can see what’s happening or your game is too difficult to make any progress, your players and your audience will start to check out.
  • CONTESTS: These games can take a lot of different forms, but it might be best to think of them as ongoing challenges. A contest could look like the “Impossible Shot,” where you set up a trash can or hoop somewhere far from your stage, and kids try to throw a ball into it. You could create a series of “On the Spot” contests where kids have five minutes to paint the best picture, write the best song, or tell the best jokes. Contests are a good change of pace from your other game structures. They can be fast-paced, or they can take some focus, allowing you to build up the anticipation in your kids.

Just remember to rotate your game structures at least every other week. When you play the same types of games over and over, your games can become predictable and less exciting for kids. Don’t be afraid to shake things up and try a new structure or even combine a few structures together. There are so many games you can create within these structures!

FIND SUPPLIES

Once you’ve established your structure and your theme, it’s time to get your supplies. Sometimes, your supplies can inspire your games, like Random Object Mini Golf, where kids use anything but a golf club to play. But when it comes to creating your game, there aren’t many with unlimited supplies. Clean toilet plungers can become pool cues. A volleyball net can become a slingshot, pool noodles can become javelins, baseball bats, and anything else you can imagine. If your church doesn’t have a lot of supplies for games, ask your volunteer team what they have. You might even consider calling up another church in the area to see if you can borrow some of their supplies. You don’t need an enormous budget to create great games. You just need a little imagination (and maybe the phone number for the church down the road).

TEST IT

You’ve done it! You have a theme, you have your structure, and you found your supplies when you realized carrying the fake plants around the church could make a great relay. Now, the last step in creating your game is to test it. You should test every single game you ever play—whether you created it or not. You can make this easier on yourself by picking a few volunteers to test out each of your games during the week or before your weekly environment. When you test out your games before you play them, you can see what parts of your game need adjustment. Maybe you need more time during your time trial. Maybe one of your trivia questions is incorrect. Maybe the plants are too heavy for kids to carry safely. Whatever it is, testing your games before you let your kids play them gives you the time to find the problems, make adjustments, and increase the fun for everyone involved. Plus, it makes for great social media content and fun staff meetings!

EMPOWER YOUR TEAM

Creating games from scratch can take a lot of time and energy. It might be something you don’t always have time to do. If that’s the case, consider empowering your volunteer team to help you in the process. We love it when churches ask their volunteers to invest in big ways (we think it’s the first step in creating a great volunteer culture). Asking your volunteers to help you create games isn’t just about your time and schedule, but it’s about pulling out incredible ideas from your team. Consider making a game creation a part of your volunteer meetings, or maybe you could set up a way for volunteers to share the random, silly game ideas that pop into their heads. Give them the space to be creative, have fun, and make something special just for your kids. You might be amazed at the great things they come up with!

And if you’re looking for great games, you can plug into your kids ministry right now, then check outcheck out the Grow Games App for iOS and Android. Inside the app, we have over 500 games ready for you to add to your kids ministry. Each game comes ready to play with instructions, editable image files, and a supply list so you can get started right away. Plus, you can add your own games to build up a database of all the great games you’ve already been playing in your kids ministry. So, for the times when you need a break from creating your games from scratch, you can use the Grow Games App.

How to Create Simple Church Games for Kids
Free PDF Resources
How to Create Simple Church Games for Kids

4 Tips for Leading Kids in Small Groups

The first time you’re in charge of a small group of kids, you might feel pretty intimidated. It’s a big responsibility, and there’s so much to remember—names, talking points, and rules to your icebreaker. Beyond that, there’s the stuff you can’t always prepare for, like their unexpected ideas, silly conversations, and curious questions they can ask. There’s just so much small group leaders need to know.

When we stop to think about it, small group leaders have some of the most important roles within kids ministry.

  • They learn about their lives.
  • They get to build deep connections with kids.
  • They hear their questions and help them make sense of their experiences.

With such an important role, how can small group leaders become the best, most helpful, loving people within your kids ministry?

Well, if you’re a kids pastor, we’ve got a few ideas for how you can train your current small group leaders. And if you’re a volunteer, we’ve got some ideas to help you become a better small group leader right now.

Here are four tips that can help, no matter your role!

Tip #1: KNOW YOUR ROLE

Your overall role as a small group leader can be broken down into three parts:

  • You’re a guide. While not an easy role to define, you’re part mentor, pastor, friend, and teacher. But you’re not fully any of those things. Thankfully, you don’t need to have all of the answers. Instead, you get to help lead a conversation that will help your kids find truth together.
  • You’re a facilitator. This is more than just knowing your material and the Scripture you’ll be talking through. You also have to know how to facilitate a conversation by drawing kids in, asking different types of questions, learning when to push for more, and knowing when to have fun.
  • You’re a person. Being a small group leader means building relationships. You can’t lead the kids you serve without building connections with each person in your group. That means learning about the things they enjoy, asking them questions about their lives, and showing up to their important events as often as you can.

Because of their age, you might discover your group of kids is full of wild questions, short attention spans, and silly voices. You may need to lead them step-by-step through a craft or activity, so don’t forget to be patient with yourself and them!

Tip #2: KNOW YOUR GOAL

Your goal is to help kids take the next step in their faith journey.

You’re not there to have all the answers or to solve all of their problems. That’s a great goal but not always realistic, so you can relax a little. Instead, help kids take the next step toward living out their faith. You’re helping them plant the roots of their faith that will help them as they grow up.

Plus, the kids in your group are going to grow differently. Spiritual growth is a journey, and no two journeys are exactly the same. As kids build up spiritual habits on their own time, they’ll grow in their faith differently, and that’s completely okay. It’s just important to remember as you help each of your kids explore what the next step in their faith can look like.

Tip #3: FOCUS ON HABITS

Remember your role, or … roles? You’re a guide, facilitator, and person. Most likely, you’re not the primary influence in a kid’s faith. Their caregivers, mentors, and family members might fill that role more often than you. But you are a part of the discipleship process for every person in your group.

You’ve probably heard the word “discipleship” quite a bit, but let’s be honest—it’s a word many people have defined differently. We like to think of discipleship in terms of four spiritual habits. These are the decisions, behaviors, and rhythms that help everyone—kids included—grow spiritually over time. They are …

  • Spend time with God
  • Spend time with others
  • Use your gifts
  • Share your story

When we focus on helping kids build habits in these four areas, we give them chances to grow in new ways. And it doesn’t take a ton of forethought to do it, either.

You can help them spend time with God by assigning a Scripture reading or some prayer prompts. You can help them spend time with others by organizing a hangout or game night outside of your normal meeting time. You can help kids use their gifts by giving them space to practice new skills. And you can help them share their story by inviting them to share parts of their story often.

Helping kids build up their habits doesn’t have to be intimidating. If you want to learn more about the four spiritual habits and a discipleship strategy that can help, just check out this article.

Tip #4: KEEP LEARNING

Those first three tips cover some of the basics of being a small group leader, but that’s not where this ends. There’s no certification course for leading a small group that teaches you everything you need to know. There’s a lot of learning on the job you’ll need to do, like …

  • Learn from your mistakes.
  • Get better at asking for help.
  • Work on balancing deep conversation with fun bonding experiences.
  • Figure out how to engage the introverts while managing your extroverts.
  • Find resources to help someone experiencing a crisis you’ve never dealt with before.
  • Research the complicated questions, issues, and ideas your group members bring up.

Never stop learning. It’s well-known that leaders are more effective when they keep learning and growing. You might be the one leading the small group, but you can still grow while you do.

So many people in your church and your ministry would love to help you. Talk to your youth pastor. Ask people in other ministries for tips and advice. Leading a group is a big deal, and you don’t have to feel like you’re doing it alone.

4 Tips for Leading Kids in Small Groups
Free PDF Resource
4 Tips for Leading Kids in Small Groups

It’s why we’re here to help. We make Grow Kids Curriculum to help small group leaders like you be great at what they do. Inside of Grow Kids, you’ll find …

  • Small group guides and questions
  • Volunteer meeting outlines
  • Monthly tip videos to help you be an even better small group leader
  • A volunteer handbook to help you know your role

And if your church doesn’t use Grow Curriculum, we have tons of other resources and strategies in our blog for you to steal. Take what’s there, tweak it to match your ministry, and make it your own. We hope it helps you be even better at running a small group and connecting with kids!

Responding to Kids in Crisis

Free PDF Resource
Crisis Response Decision Tree
With just a few simple questions, you and your team of volunteers can know which response may fit your situation best and what steps to take in following up with your teenagers and their families.

If we asked you to share your favorite memories from ministry, it might take you a minute. Ministry is full of things to remember, from the funny stories kids share to the life-changing decisions they make for Jesus. You’ll have dozens of favorite moments throughout your time in ministry.

But if we asked you about some of the most challenging times in ministry, it would be a lot easier for you to name them. The hard seasons tend to stick to the back of our minds. Our difficult seasons as ministry leaders are often connected to the kids we serve. When they struggle, experience tragedy, or find themselves in crisis, we’re often right next to them, helping them process and stay connected to God in the middle of it. We check in with our kids and their families, pray for them, and help them walk through what they’re experiencing.

If you’ve ever found yourself in one of these situations, you may have not felt prepared. When we think of ministry, we tend to put our energy into teaching, building a weekly environment, and working with volunteers. Helping a kid through a crisis rarely makes the list. What we do know is that kids have a complex spectrum of experiences. What one kid experiences each day can be similar but pretty different from the experience of the kid two chairs over. Two kids might not even interpret the same experience in similar ways. For the most part, developing a single, definitive strategy for walking with a kid through a crisis may not be helpful. Instead, we can build a simple database of strategies to help lead us to something helpful for our kids, their families, and us.

To help you out, we’ve made you something to help you remember some of the potential responses to any crisis situation you face. Before we get there, though, let’s talk about what a crisis is.

WHAT COUNTS AS A CRISIS?

As an adult, when you talk about crises, some ideas probably pop into your head — natural disasters, major health scares, major international events, and a few other things. Because we have this larger scope and frame of reference, we can be quick to dismiss things we don’t personally view as a crisis. A kid might share a problem they’re facing, and we may think, “Just wait ’til you’re older!”

Sure, what the kid in your small group is experiencing may not seem like a big deal to you, but it is a big deal to them. Their whole existence might feel like it’s wrapped up in this problem, and they need a trusted adult to help them through it. What counts as a crisis comes from your life experience, context, and resources. So, just because it doesn’t feel like a crisis to you doesn’t mean it’s not experienced as a crisis to a kid or someone else.

A crisis can be any situation that feels like a threat or danger to ourselves or our situation, leaving us feeling like we may not have the tools to navigate through it successfully. Through this lens, we can be more empathetic to the kids’ experiences in our ministries. They don’t have as much life experience and may be feeling entirely new things. They most likely don’t know where to find their answers or how to start looking for them. They don’t have much control over their decisions, either.

That’s why we recommend you take every problem seriously. This doesn’t mean every problem is addressed with the same urgency, but every time a kid tells you about an experience they’re having or says something that you find concerning, they’re giving you a chance to support them, empower them, and lead them into a deeper relationship with God.

Now that we’re on the same page about what a crisis is and how it can show up in a kid’s life, let’s take a look at a few ways you can respond whenever you encounter a kid in crisis.

Free PDF Resource
Crisis Response Decision Tree
With just a few simple questions, you and your team of volunteers can know which response may fit your situation best and what steps to take in following up with your teenagers and their families.

5 CRISIS RESPONSES

1. ENSURE SAFETY

Any time a kid shares something that may signal they’re in a crisis, it’s up to you to make sure the current situation is safe for them, others around, and yourself. Safety for everyone involved is the theme of each of these crisis responses.

Part of ensuring safety means being upfront and honest about confidentiality. If a kid asks “Do you promise not to tell anyone?” you need to be clear that there are situations where you’ll need to inform others according to laws, church policies, and other factors. Most notably situations involving abuse — physical, sexual, emotional, and neglect — are legally required to be reported in most states.

If you haven’t already, review your state’s mandatory reporting laws, and train your volunteers on how to abide by these laws as well. To make things easier for your team, add some crisis response resources to your Volunteer Handbook so they know what to do.

2. DE-ESCALATE

We’re not always ready for kids to share about their crises. Even if we’re caught off guard, we can remember to help de-escalate the feelings and emotions a kid might be experiencing.

Your role in any crisis is to be calm and supportive. If you start to panic you may communicate

  • “I’ve made someone mad”
  • “I’m going to get in trouble”
  • “This person doesn’t know how to help me”

Some situations might be harder for you to respond to based on your own experiences. Know your limits, but do everything you can to demonstrate calm to the kid confiding in you.

De-escalating a situation might look like…

  • Moving from a crowded area to somewhere quieter that is still in public.
  • Speaking in a calm, regular voice. Your tone on its own can communicate a setting is safe.
  • Take notice of your reactions and the reactions of the kid. Are you scared? Defensive? Are they?
  • If the situation is causing you distress, grab another adult the student trusts to step in for you.

3. LISTEN

A crisis is a time when our brains might snap into “fix it” mode. We have a distressed kid in front of us, and we want to help them. As much as we might want to, we can’t just jump in with solutions. We need to give kids space to talk and express their feelings and experiences. After all, they are the experts in what they’re feeling. If you find yourself wanting to do something, remember listening is doing something important. All of us, no matter our age, need people to stand with us and hold space with us in the hard times.

Listening to a kid means…

  • Let them talk. Don’t make it about you or offer advice unless specifically asked. It will be helpful if you can relate to what is being shared, but if we jump in before a kid is ready to receive advice, we may come across as dismissive or uninterested.
  • Introduce an activity. A lot of kids aren’t ready for direct one-on-one conversations, but they may be more open to talk if you’re doing an activity with them. Consider coloring, drawing, playing with LEGO sets, or stacking blocks while you talk with them.
  • Empathize with them. Even if you don’t exactly understand or relate, you can still show empathy. Phrases like “That sounds frustrating” or “I can tell you’re hurt” can help communicate empathy.
  • Ask questions. Asking questions may not seem like you’re listening, but they’re a way to extend the conversation and show interest in what is being shared. Questions like “Can you tell more about that?” or “How did that make you feel?” can help a kid feel like someone is listening to them. At the same time, they help you explore the details of the source of their crisis. Ask questions from a place of curiosity. You’re not interrogating anyone, but you are trying to understand the situation more.
  • Silence is okay. Sometimes people just need someone to sit with them. A kid may not always feel like talking about what they’re feeling. Actually, they may not even know exactly what they’re feeling or have the right words to express it. It’s okay to sit in silence and to just be present with them. And if silence makes you uncomfortable, that’s okay. Your comfort isn’t the only goal.

4. EMPOWER

When we have a kid confiding in us, our goal isn’t to fix things ourselves — it’s to empower the kid to take the next step. Remember how we defined a crisis? A crisis can be any situation that feels like a threat or danger to ourselves or our situation, leaving us feeling like we may not have the tools to navigate through it successfully. In a crisis, kids are looking for someone to fix everything and make it all okay. So, you can respond by choosing to empower them and help them find the tools and resources they need to navigate their experience.

Empowering a kid can look like…

  • Affirming their decision to reach out to you in the first place. Talking about a problem takes a lot of vulnerability and can be scary.
  • Ask questions like “What do you want to happen?” to help kids start to dream and wonder about what’s next.
  • Explore past situations where they’ve used their strengths, skills, and other tools to overcome a problem. Looking to the past might help them see a way through their current situation.
  • Help them explore their social supports. What friends or family members do they trust? Which of these people could they talk with?

The goal of empowering a kid isn’t to come up with the solutions on your own. It’s to help guide them towards identifying the tools and responses that they find helpful for their situation. It’s about uncovering their strengths and helping them visualize the options that are in reach right now.

5. REFER

Making a referral might be one of the most important steps to take. Most likely, you’re not a licensed therapist or counselor, so many of the crises your kids face might be outside of your scope. It’s okay to tell a kid or their parent, “I’m not equipped to handle this, but here is someone who is.” All of us have limits to our expertise and what is appropriate to help with. If you haven’t already, put together a list of local counselors and other resources your kids or their families may need in a time of crisis. If your church offers services, include those, but be sure to have a few outside of your church as well.

We know that there are a lot of steps and details to remember, so to help you train your team in crisis response, we’ve created a decision tree. With just a few simple questions, you and your team of volunteers can know which response may fit your situation best and what steps to take in following up with your kids and their families.

BE AWARE OF WARNING SIGNS

When working with a kid in crisis, there are a few warning signs you should watch for. These signs could signal a kid who has or is currently contemplating suicide and who may need help. Not all of these signs need to be present for a kid to be considering suicide, and the signs themselves may vary by age, gender, and cultural identity.

  • Talking about wanting to die or to kill themselves
  • Looking for a way to kill themselves
  • Talking about…
    • Feeling hopeless
    • Having no purpose
    • Feeling trapped
    • Being in unbearable pain
    • Wanting it to end
    • Not wanting to wake up
    • Being a burden to others
  • Showing rage or talking about seeking revenge
  • Use, or increasing use, of alcohol or drugs
  • Acting anxious, agitated, or pursuing risky behavior
  • Changes in sleep or eating patterns
  • Withdrawing or feeling isolated
  • Displaying extreme mood swings

If you happen to encounter a kid displaying one or more of these behaviors or thoughts, take it seriously. Don’t immediately assume the student is a threat to themselves, but ask follow-up questions. Start a conversation and explore what is sitting underneath their thoughts and feelings.

It’s also important to know the stories of your kids. Knowing these behaviors and thoughts is only one part of preventing suicide, but personal experience also plays a key role in whether or not a student is considering suicide. Kids who are bullied, abused, have experienced a stressful situation, or who have access to a means such as pills or a weapon are more likely to think about or attempt suicide.

Remember to always take any mention of suicide seriously. Ask follow-up questions, know the signs, and refer for help whenever you need to.

RESOURCES

You don’t need to handle all of this on your own. One of the best things you can do for your kids is to know that you don’t know it all. You don’t need to have the perfect response ready to help a kid in crisis. You just need to help them find the tools to make it through another day. That could look like being willing to listen to them, helping them troubleshoot their problems, or pointing them to a new resource.

Below, you’ll find some helpful resources from national organizations. These organizations have tools, training, and ways for kids in crisis to seek help for various issues. Consider researching the resources your city, county, and state may offer for kids experiencing a crisis. These resources can help you guide a kid toward safety and develop a safety plan. When you don’t know what to do, turn to these lifelines for help.

Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: Text or call 988

Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741741

Self-Injury Outreach & Support

Free PDF Resource
Crisis Response Decision Tree
With just a few simple questions, you and your team of volunteers can know which response may fit your situation best and what steps to take in following up with your teenagers and their families.